Spiritual Parasites

Christianity like most institutions loves its slogans: “It’s not a Religion; It’s a Relationship”. How many times have we heard this little gem? Now I’m not questioning the validity of the slogan, but I will say that Godly relationships are symbiotic and not parasitic.

I have met many people who call themselves Christians, but the truth is they resemble  parasites more than they do servants of the Living God. A parasite is only interested in having their own needs met and could really give two hoots about their host; to them the host is just another means to an end. These spiritual Bed-Bugs are interested in armchair enlightenment without the work, effort, or study required to show themselves approved (2 Tim. 2:15). They tend to view Christianity like a colonic lounge that comes complete with heavenly wisdom and a soothing holy-water enema. These are the same people that say they don’t read the Bible because it’s too complex and archaic for them to understand. You can usually find them in various church settings pissing and moaning that God never moves in their lives and how they are perpetually in the “valley”.


Although spiritual parasites are inherently lazy, they can be extremely clever. Many of these parasites will latch on to semi-strong believers under the guise that they need help and instruction. These parasites flatter their host with lovely sediments and sayings about how smart, educated, and spiritually  gifted the believer is. Now if the believers discernment radar is down, they may actually start to believe the parasites hype and then the real feeding begins. These spiritual siphons are attention whores that have PhD’s in learned helplessness and manipulation. They will seek to occupy your time which ultimately impedes your walk with the Lord.

So how do you know if someone is a parasite?  

Despite their flattery a parasite is always about his or her own business. A parasite has a semblance of God but denies the power thereof (see 2 Tim 3:5). Now you might see them waving their arms making hand puppets to Michael W. Smith songs, but they will never do any biblical study on their own. So if you were to tell them to read Romans chapter 1 so that you can discuss it at your next meeting, they will not do it. They will however offer up tons of excuses and problems that came up during the week that kept them from reading God’s Word- in attempts to turn the Bible study/meeting into their own personal bitch-therapy session. I would love to give some real world examples of the above, but time is short and I know you’re already smelling what I’m cooking!

So have you ever encountered a spiritual parasite? If so how did you deal with him/her? Have you ever had a literal parasite in or on your body?

Statistics of note:
70% of parasites do not know they’re parasites.
94% of parasites are too lazy to read this entire post…The remaining 6% are too lazy to comment or defend themselves.
99% of spiritual parasites prefer blood to breast milk.